Alissa and I were in Kansas City for a conference two weekends ago. And while we were certainly there to have fun, eat amazing food, ride scooters, wear tracksuits, get smoked by a teenager in a worm competition, see all our beautiful friends we haven't seen in a long time, and make new ones, we were also there to intake some information.
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| As you already know; Tracksuits change everything. |
Whenever you attend a conference your goal is usually to go there and learn, to grow. To soak in as much information as possible to use in your daily life moving forward. To meet other people, learn from their story, and maybe "network" as the professional people call it. I've attended many conferences/events over the past 5 years of my life, and what I've found is that I always learn a TON and take home loads of great information, but I also always seem to leave each event with ONE thing that stands out to me. One thing that rises above all the other great nuggets and is solidified in my brain.
What I took away from the weekend was a simple, yet powerful message:
Love Yourself.
I imagine this stood out to me because I had been reading a lot on the topic before going to the event, and I've even wrote a little bit about it on this Pulitzer Prize nominated blog. As you smart people of the internet know; you see what you're looking for, what you focus on expands. So it made sense that this kept standing out to me over the weekend, but also because it is so earth shatteringly important.
One of my favorite books, You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero, which I've referenced several times on this blog, magnifies the importance of loving yourself by ending each chapter with the advice, "Love Yourself." We were also fortunate to hear from world renowned speaker and author Brian Tracy over the weekend and his message was right in line with this theme as one of the key notes I took from him was, "The most powerful thing you can do is help people love themselves."
So this theme was all around, but it really began getting drilled into my mind a few weeks before going to the conference in Kansas City when I read a book by Kamal Ravikant called, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends Upon It. It is a short book, only 56 pages. No fluff, just straight to the point, about how deciding to love himself brought him out of some really dark times. In it, along with explaining why loving yourself is so important, he gives two super simple, powerful, short meditations. I'm always a believer in simplicity, so I think that's why I loved this little book more than others. He also had a great little paragraph in the beginning of the book that had me hooked as soon as I read it:
"Here's the best part, one that makes me smile as I write this. As you love yourself, life loves you back. I don't think it has a choice either. I can't explain how it works, but I know it to be true. When you find yourself using the word 'magical' to describe your life, you'll know what I'm talking about."
I too smiled as I wrote this, as I know it to be true. I've felt it, seen it, experienced it, watched others live it; life just loving you back when you choose to love yourself. You just start getting random hugs from life, seemingly out of nowhere. But they aren't just random; they are effects, and the cause is you loving yourself. Magical indeed. Don't get me wrong, you'll probably get a few punches in the face too throughout life. But lots more magical experiences come along when you choose to love yourself first.
But what if I don't? What if I do not love myself? That's really the basis of Kamal's book. So I'll give you a little book summary today because I simply think it is that important. You should also hop on Amazon and buy the book, it's $6.35. If you don't have Amazon, message me and I'll send you the book.
Amidst his dark times Kamal reached a breaking point, got out of bed and wrote, "This day, I vow to love myself..........I make the decision I LOVE MYSELF."
He says; how to love himself he did not know, but he'd made a vow. So he started with the simplest thing that he knew he was capable of. And he started telling himself, "I love myself, I love myself, I love myself." Repeating it for hours throughout each day. Thoughts would wander, as they do, and then he'd notice and return to repeating, "I love myself, I love myself, I love myself." In his head, out loud, whispering, in all ways. Things started to improve, and he kept saying, "I love myself, I love myself, I love myself."
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| One of Kamal's two simple meditations. |
Here's the great thing too. In the beginning, he didn't believe it. Not even close. But he continued to say it. And eventually he would even catch himself loving himself, imagine that! You don't have to believe it to start, you just need to begin. Eventually you, too, will catch yourself loving yourself. Imagine being able to walk past a mirror, see your sexy face staring back at you, and say out loud, "I love you," and smile. It's a powerful thing, and you can get there, you just have to start.
A lot of people think that loving yourself, and stopping to be deeply grateful, can lead to contentment, as if that's a bad thing. They see it as a sort of, well if I just love myself and I'm just grateful all day then I won't go out and try to become more, or do more. They say it's giving yourself an out to be lazy. Kamal addresses this in a little chapter titled, "Coasting." It's easy to coast when things are going well, which can lead to decline and not feeling fulfilled for some. When this happens, he asks himself a simple question; "If I loved myself, truly and deeply, what would I do?" As he says, the answer is simple, "I'd fly. Fly as high as I possibly can. Then, I'd fly higher."
Because if I love myself truly and deeply, I always want what's best for myself. What's possible for my potential for me and those I love. Only you know what that is for you. Maybe your best is being where you are now. AWESOME. Maybe you have a long way to go. I have no idea, I'm not you. To that I refer back to what I said in a previous blog; there is no right, there is only right for you. If you love yourself truly and deeply, you'll figure out what you want to take from this experience called life. One of the things I often like to say or write at the end of when I'm reflecting on what I'm grateful for is, "I'm grateful for all that I have while I pursue all I desire." I don't know if that's right or wrong, but I like it. It's beautiful and important to be extremely grateful and love all that you have right now, and its beautiful and important to continue to strive for more while you love the heck out of your current life and your current self. The immense importance of gratitude is for another entry, we'd be here all day if I got started on that one.
Life is crazy man, to say I understand it would be lying to you great people of the internets. But I do know that when I love myself, I walk around a bit happier every day, I feel better, cooler things happen, I smile more, I laugh more, and my experience of this life seems to just simply be more awesome.
Besides the simple exercise of repeating "I love myself," many times throughout the day, another way I feel very strongly about raising your self love is making it a priority to do what you love more. Play! Enjoy! Play gets lost when we become "adults" and focus on some thing we call a "career." Get back to finding time for fun, whether it be sports, video games, outdoor activities, crafts, singing, anything. It is so highly important to play and have fun. This week, go make it a priority to play and have fun and enjoy the hell out of it. I give you permission to take a little time away from your "super important" other stuff to go have some fun.
It's said a lot and many say it's cliche, but I think it's true. We need more love out there. And that starts with you, and loving yourself. So give it a shot. Put some concentrated time and effort into you, and love yourself like your life depends on it.
Be Awesome.
-Tom Spaniol
"Momentary enthusiasm is of no value; it is only with unbounded self-confidence that the goal is reached." -Charles F. Haanel
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