TPL Season 9

 Dearest Gentle Reader...

Woah sorry- we've been watching too much Bridgerton over here. What I meant to start this with was:

Holy Cripes Season 9, hot damn.

Excuse my french, but what a fucking day. A long, energizing yet exhausting day, that went late into the night for some. 

We saw a bit of everything in season 9- First time champs, playoff dreambreaker drama, team jammies, Tom's Bar, the return of "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED" Mavetz. It was a season for the record books, and one that will most certainly live on in TPL lore for decades to come.

Let's taco bout it (see what I did there? Since we had Chipotle for the after party this time. Super clever play on words)

Pool Play

Pool A

LMFA Pros

First time captain Allen Ng had the team looking fly in their custom LMFA Pro uniforms as they squared off with the Expats in round 1, but they may have been a bit too focused on their dance moves as they found themselves in an 0-2 hole after gendered. But they Put That Ass To Work in mixed, taking both mixed matches, with Faith/Mark topping Adam/Nicole, and Allen/Lexi beating Yang/Bailey. There would unfortunately be no more Party Rock, as they lost the dreambreaker 21-17. In round 2 they found themselves in another dreambreaker after splitting gendered with Faith/Lexi winning 25-23, and Mark/Allen losing 22-20, and then splitting mixed. Once again they ran out of steam and came up short in the dreambreaker. They got in the W column with a win over the Picklecats in the Wildcard round, before losing their final pool play match to the Power Bangers. LMFA Pro finished as the #4 seed in pool A, but we all know what happens with #4 seeds come playoff time...

We didn't capture team photos for everyone, so I've resorted to this method

Jamie & The Expats. Bailey & The Expats

A few days before season 9, I received the dreaded text learning season 7 champ Jamie Voelker was down and out with an illness. A tough blow to the Expats squad at any time, but especially with only a few days before the big event. But luckily (and sort of un lucky for their opponents), Sheedy quickly got in touch with Bailey Rezabek who was able to fill in for Jamie and make her TPL debut. "Fill in" would not do Bailey's debut justice, as she absolutely crushed it in her first appearance with the Expats. 

I feel like Nicole is always playing in dreambreakers, and once again her dream came true as the Expats went to dreambreakers in all 3 of their pool play matches, with wins over LMFA Pros and Power Bangers, while taking a 22-20 dreambreaker loss to Fleetwood Smack. In that dreambreaker, the Laotian Laser Yang Lo and The Australian Armadillo Adam Couzens handed it over to their ladies 11-8, before Jenny/Genna had a great second half run to take down the powerhouse of Bailey/Nicole (you guys took exceptional notes on your scoresheet to provide me with that info, well done!) In the wildcard round they topped The Final 4, finishing their pool play portion of the day as the #2 seed coming out of pool A.

Their team got separated during the group photo, so we'll just show Nicole here

Power Bangers

Go go Power Bangers! After we were all convinced this squad would go unnamed and have no shot of getting in a team practice, they surprised us with both, as they got together for practice session before the big day and came up with a very appropriate team name in the Power Bangers. And power bang they did indeed, led by Jaryd Marks making his TPL debut. 

The PB's went to two dreambreakers during pool play, unfortunately losing both, to Fleetwood and The Expats, but beat the LMFA Pros 3-1 winning three different two point contests. While this squad had the least amount of TPL experience under their belts, TPL staple Missy Rosenthal had them morphing into a team to fear heading into the playoffs.

At least 1 team member had a Power Rangers shirt on!

Fleetwood Smack

Adorning their incredible custom uniforms with their Fleetwood band member photo on them, this squad was ready to smack some shit right out the gates in round 1. Perhaps it's the extreme dread of Sta Fit that captain Jason Krueger feels when he walks into that bubble, as Fleetwood Smack was a force during the pool play session. Their only loss at Sta Fit came during the wildcard round, where they were edged 31-29 by Stranger Dinks.

In their pool matches, they finished 3-0, but it certainly didn't come easy. They won all 3 matches in dreambreakers, two of them being decided by only 2 points. So while they had the potential curse of the #1 seed hanging over them heading into playoffs, it felt as though this team was different. Heading to the playoffs being battle tested during pool play had them feeling confident they could accomplish the Dreams they had of raising the TPL Cup.

Fleetwood showing off their custom T's

Pool B

Stranger Dinks

Filled with TPL veterans, this was another squad who came out looking fantastic in their matching Stranger Dinks shirts. The Dinks suffered two tough dreambreaker losses in their first two matches to The Picklecats and The Final 4, before picking up a wild card win against Fleetwood Smack. For their final pool play match, they decided to save some energy for playoffs, and took a 0-4 loss to the POP Starz.

While finishing at the bottom of Pool B, Stranger Dinks was most certainly not the squad anyone wanted to see in the playoffs. 

Volly & The Picklecats

The defending champs were back, sporting their non existent uniforms and this time a severe lack of cat ears. But on the court they showed their claws as they got an opening round win over Stranger Dinks in a tight dreambreaker that ended 22-20, before losing their next two pool matches to The POP Starz and The Final 4. In the wildcard game, they also couldn't handle the party rockin from the LMFA Pros, losing 30-27.

But we've seen this move from the cats before. They hadn't exhausted their 9 lives just yet, and relishing at the opportunity for this party to move back to their championship venue- The Shed. There's something about that place that makes cats come alive, would the venue change end up being the catalyst the cats needed to get going to defend their title?

The defending champs!

POP Starz

The undisputed best dressed of season 9 with their custom made sleeveless shirts, gold hats, and charisma exuding out their pores, the POP Starz were ready to finally put the offseason media spectacle behind them and play some pickleball.

They got off to a hot start with a 3-1 win over the Picklecats, a comeback wild card win over the Power Bangers, and a 4-0 sweep over Stranger Dinks. Their lone pool play loss came against The Final 4, where multiple games were decided by 2 points. Would things turn out differently if they got the chance to see them again? Time would only tell...

#neverstopneverstopping

The Final 4

Naming their squad with a nod to the upcoming March Madness tournament, the Final 4 was hoping to get hot at the right time and make a playoff run. Instead of finding the right time they chose to be hot the whole time, as they went undefeated during pool play topping Stranger Dinks in a tight dreambreaker, before beating both The POP Starz and Picklecats 3-1.

They did leave pool play with a slight blemish on their record, taking a wildcard loss to Bailey and the Expats. The score of that game went unrecorded, but you can imagine it was a thriller with all that firepower on display. 

Standings after Pool Play

Pool A

#1 Fleetwood Smack. 3-0. Wildcard L

#2 Bailey & The Expats. 2-1. Wildcard W

#3 Power Bangers. 1-2. Wildcard L

#4 LMFA Pros. 0-3. Wildcard W

Pool B

#1 The Final 4. 3-0. Wildcard L

#2 POP Starz. 2-1. Wildcard W

#3 Volly & The Picklecats. 1-2. Wildcard L

#4 Stranger Dinks. 0-3. Wildcard W

Quarterfinals

Have you ever watched The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, and the host Chris Harrison (now Jesse Palmer) says at the beginning of the season something about how this is "the most dramatic season in the entire Bachelor franchise history?"

That's precicesly what the season 9 quarterfinals were for The TPL. In the days following the event, I was wow'd at how incredible the quarterfinals were, and I thought maybe I had some recency bias coming into play. Now over a month later, I can say there is no recency bias here, they were indeed THE MOST DRAMATIC QUARTERFINALS WE'VE EVER SEEN!

The first match on the far court at the beloved Shed featured #1 seed Fleetwood Smack vs #4 seed Stranger Dinks, a rematch of their intense wild card game where the strange group edged out Fleetwood. After gendered it was 1-1 with The Fleetwood gals Jenny/Genna getting the win over Emily G/Kris, before the men of fire Chris/Dan evened the score with a win over Jason/John. Mixed was split as well as Emily/Dan won for stranger, with Jason/Genna getting the W for Fleetwood. We then witnessed an instant classic dreambreaker, one for the TPL record books. Dan/Emily handed it over to their teammates with an 11-3 lead, thanks in part to Dan going absolutely berserk out there, leading to Fleetwood demanding a drug test on the man. During the second half of the dreambreaker, I recall hearing Stranger Dinks serving ahead 18-11. But there's no way Jason/Genna would just roll over, as they crawled back, and ended up taking a 19-18 lead!! All of a sudden, after seasons of first round exits, Chris Mavetz remembered who he was, the only 3 time TPL Champion in the building, and he went on a Mavetz mayham run, and sent Fleetwood Smack to the showers early, ending the game 21-19. I think we even got the Mavets classic Gladiator quote- "Are you not entertained!?!?"

Stranger Dinks or Stranger Drinks, am I right??

Fleetwood had 2 curses working against them; The curse of the 1 seed, and the curse of the musical team name. It is now officially the 4th time in a row that a musical themed team has lost in the first round of the playoffs. Will anyone dare to break that curse in season 10!?

On court 1, we had another instant classic between The Picklecats and The Expats. The squads would trade gender wins with Baily/Nicole staying unbeaten in women's games, before Manny/Jay came alive against Yang/Adam. Something about a picklecat in The Shed brings out the best in Jay Portz, as he came up big in the mens game, helping propel the Picklecat men to their first win of the day. In the first mixed game we saw a battle of TPL heavyweights, with Bailey/Adam lining up against Manny/Volly. And the game absolutely delivered. It was an incredible display of playoff pickle as these two put on a display of sharp angles, impossible gets, and ridiculous speedups. In the end, Volly/Manny came out on top in a tight two point contest, setting up their compadres to yet again come up clutch in the playoffs as they did time and time again during their season 8 run. Emily Schadow and Jay Portz were once again not to be denied, as they took out Nicole/Yang, securing the upset win for The Picklecats, and keeping their repeat hopes alive!

Shed vibes were high for TPL playoffs!

All that drama and we're only halfway through the quarterfinals...

In the second bout of QF's, on the far court we saw the poorly matching top seeded Final 4 taking on the impeccably dressed LMFA Pros. The Final 4 got off to a hot start taking both gendered matches, setting up a showdown between Kitri/Justin vs Faith/Mark trying to keep LMFA alive. Faith/Mark Put That Ass To Work and handed Kitri/Justin their first loss of the day, setting up another must win mixed match. However, during the women's match, LMFA Pro Lexi Portz injured her back, and couldn't play in the mixed game. We ran through a series of bad ideas, before deciding the only fair thing was to give the game to Nicki/Julius, securing the QF win for Final 4. We'll never know what would've happened if Allen/Lexi had taken the court, but we definitely know they would've won, but we'll never know, but we can only guess, but we'll never know.

You can hardly tell, but The Final 4 and LMFA Pro women are playing pickleball in this screenshot of a video

Wrapping up the QF's, on court 1 we had The #2 seeded POP Starz vs the #3 seeded Power Bangers. The teams would split gendered with Jasmin/Missy winning the womens for the PBs, and Tom/Corbin taking the mens for POP Starz. In mixed, Tom/Lake beat Jaryd/Missy, setting up a must win game from Jasmin/Brandon to keep the Power Banger's dreams alive. The go go Power Bangers were not to be denied, as Jasmin/Brandon got the W, sending this to a playoff dreambreaker! The POP Starz were the home team, and they decided to go with mixed in the db, keeping their lineups of Tom/Lake and Corbeee/Sheedy. Power Bangers decided the order, and chose to go with Missy/Jaryd first against Tom/Lake. Flipping the result of the mixed game, Missy/Jaryd handed it over to their Power Banger teammates leading 11-10 at the switch. Jasmin/Brandon came on confident having just beaten Corbee/Sheedy. But The POP Starz, with #neverstopneverstopping gold platted across their backs, weren't going to give in that easily. I may be biased, but the second half of this dreambreaker could have been one of the most dramatic finishes to a TPL game we've ever had. Late in the game, Corbee/Sheedy fended off MULTIPLE match points, heroically saving the POP Starz season from ending too early, and came back to win the match 24-22!! Never. Stop. Never. Stopping.

Sheedy & Corbee after the game winning point!

Semifinals

I'm so exhausted just thinking about that dreambreaker match, that I'll keep the semifinals recap short. Interestingly, all 4 teams in the semifinals were from pool B. This has happened one other time in The TPL, where one pool was completely eliminated after the QFs. Sorry pool A.

On the far court, The Final 4 took down the defending champion Picklecats, 3-0, ending their dreams of a repeat title.

On court 1, Stranger Dinks was set on avenging their 0-4 pool play loss to the POP Starz. It started out rough, with the POP Starz getting out to a 2-0 lead after gendered. Another interesting tidbit- the only team Dan/Mavetz lost to all day was Tom/Corbin, and it happened twice. After that loss, Dan was not to be denied, as he and Emily G remained hot and took down Corbin/Sheedy, setting up Chris/Kris for some playoff magic. Unfortunately for them, Tom/Lake were in no mood for magic tricks, as they closed the curtain on the Kris/Chris combo, sending The POP Starz to the championship match.

Just a great photo, why not put it here

Championship

If you thought the drama was over, you're a gall darn idiot. This championship match, completely predicted by ai (Gemini) days before season 9, absolutely delivered for the capacity crowd. In the women's game, Kitri/Nicki topped Lake/Sheedy giving The Final 4 an early 1-0 lead. The mens game was an instant TPL classic. With Tom/Corbin leading at the switch, Justin/Julius just would not go away. In an extremely intense game, where both teams had opportunities serving for game point, Julius/Justin came out on top, winning 25-23, giving their squad a 2-0 championship lead. 

The Final 4 sent Kitri/Justin out first, and The POP Starz countered with Lake/Tom, setting up a pool play rematch of a game that ended 22-20 in favor of Kitri/Justin. The tall hoopers started out proving to be too much for the short POP Starz, commanding an 11-6 lead at the switch, looking like they were on their way to a championship sweep. But this is The POP Starz we're talking about. With #neverstopneverstopping ringing in their minds, Lake/Tom fought their way back into the game. You could feel the tension in The Shed, with long drawn out dink rallies and silence from the crowd, it was everything one could dream of for a championship atmosphere. With the POP Starz leading 19-17, we had one of the greatest saves ever from Lake after Kitri crushed a ball left up by Tom, which led to a loud "crowd pop." Well, maybe just Lake and Tom screaming, but it felt like the roof was going to come off the place. Lake/Tom would go on the seal the deal 21-18, avenging their pool play loss and setting up Corbee/Sheedy for some more POP Star sorcery.

But dammit Nicki Pomeroy had other ideas. After never getting past the first round of the playoffs in her TPL career, Nicki was downright determined to get her championship chug for season 9. Her and Julius fended off every blow Corbee/Sheedy could throw at them, and came out on top, giving The Final 4 the TPL Season 9 championship title.

Season 9 champs

Stats for the nerds:

Top Performing Gendered Doubles Teams

• Tom Spaniol & Corbin Bentz: 4-2
• Bailey Rezabek & Nicole Idalski: 4-0
• Justin Dering & Julius Mejia: 5-1
• Kitri Boser & Nicki Pomeroy: 5-1

Top Performing Mixed Doubles Teams

• Emily Gerads & Dan Forsythe: 3-1
• Faith Lee & Mark Elliott: 4-0
• Julius Mejia & Nicki Pomeroy: 4-1
• Lake Johnson & Tom Spaniol: 5-1

Top Individual Performances

• Dan Forsythe: 7-3
• Tom Spaniol: 9-3
• Nicki Pomeroy: 9-2
• Julius Mejia: 9-2

(If anyone else did really good and I missed you I apologize, stats got lost in the chaos that followed the championship game!)

What followed the championship match had to be one of the best after parties we've ever had. Now, again, there could be some recency bias here, as we've had some absolute classics; from the Portz backyard, Emily's kitchen/basement with Lake/Nicole having a Christmas tree photoshoot, past Shed experiences, etc. A lot has gone down at TPL after parties, and this one certainly didn't disappoint. 

We had The POP Starz celebrating the hell out of their second place finish, with their after party jammies and popping champagne. We had Jenny/Genna making a homemade batch of cookie dough- not to make cookies, just to eat the cookie dough. 

POP Starz team jammies

For those who ventured over to our house after things wound down at The Shed, Tom's Bar was in full swing pumping out craft cocktails all night. Some game called O-Bo-Shen-Aught-En-TAH happened. No one really knows what the hell was going on. People slept everywhere- or at least laid down, it wasn't the best night of sleep they've ever gotten.

It felt like it took me about a month to recover from Season 9. A little bit due to the mezcal cocktails that night, but mainly due to the overwhelming emotions of the day. Being so zoned in for each game over a 10 hour period is absolutely draining. But it also seemed that I didn't want to go out and play pickleball in the weeks following because it how could it come close to the joy we experienced on January 31st?

It really felt like everyone brought their A games for season 9, and I'm not even talking about on the court, which you all certainly did. It felt like this was one of the most joyous events we've ever had. Everyone seemed genuinely pumped to be there all day, whether you lost in the first round of the playoffs or won the championship. Once again the essence of The TPL was on display all day- fierce competition on the court, and even greater camaraderie off the court. 

I saw an internet post by Genna yesterday morning that had me smiling and beaming with joy and gratitude. It was a video from a St. Patty's Day parade, and in a quick glance I noticed 8 TPL'ers all having a wonderful time together. Now I won't say it was The TPL that made them all friends and brought them together for that parade, but let's be honest, it was absolutely The TPL that made them all friends and brought them together for that parade. There's no bounds to the magic of The TPL.

I have finally exited my fog, and have been cured of my post event hangover. Season 10 is drawing near, with the draft now only 1 week away! I am officially back on the hype train, as we're about to enter one of the most fun phases of each TPL Season. Phase 2- when we know our teams, the practice sessions are underway, and the shit talking begins. Where we come together with one common goal; take down those baffoons from The Final 4.

I love and miss you all so much it hurts. Can't wait to see you soon.

-Tom

TPL Season 9 Preview

 You didn't think just because we have an Emmy nominated docuseries, that I'd overlook the preview article, did you?

Puh-lease, this is The TPL. We're absolute content monsters around here. Hype machines. Ever present. Omnipotent. 

Gabe Tardio, Huge TPL Fan

With said docuseries being loved by the public, and the TPL 4.0 event earlier this month seeing great participation, there's been lots of hype in the TPL world. And that hype train isn't slowing down any time soon as Season 9 draws nearer. We are now just 9 sleeps away from 32 of the finest pickle humans descending upon Central Minnesota for what will be the most competitive TPL to date. 

Let's meet the squads battling it out in their Quest for the Cup!

Volly & The Picklecats. Captained by Manny Obregon

Manny Obregon, Jay Portz, Emily Schadow, Volly Johnson

The defending champion Picklecats are back! After an improbable worst to first run during season 8, the Picklecats are ready to be the first team to go back to back in TPL history. A team built on grit and resiliency, they will once again have their 9 lives and will prove tough to kill. Volly just keeps getting better, Manny and Emily just keep getting nicer, and Jay just keeps getting older- a winning combo if you ask me! It is assumed that the Picklecats will keep the same mixed lineups as they did last season, but what about their uniforms? Will they actually have a matching team uniform, or will they once again be seen in random shades of blue? Either way, these cats are ready to pounce.

Will the Picklecats pop bottles once again?

Fleetwood Smack. Captained by Jason Krueger

Jason Krueger, Genna Porter, Jennifer Johnson, John Michaud

Although the origins of the musical team names are now in question, captain Jason Krueger Can't Go Back now, as they've chosen the namesake of the late 60s band. Back in his captain role for the first time since season 4, Kruger had himself a great draft. He picked up Family Man John Michaud, Sentimental Lady Jennifer Johnson, and Black Magic Woman Genna Porter. The local boys have been spotted practicing at The Shed quite a bit over the past few months. Working on not only their pickleball game, but their 12oz curls as well. Jenny/Genna bring a ton of spunk and energy to go along with their combined 3 TPL Cup titles. However, does this team have musical forces working against them? Each of the past 3 musically named teams (Dink 182, Red Hot Chili Dinkers, Dink Floyd) all lost in the first round of the playoffs. Can Fleetwood Smack change that fortune on tournament day to have the run of their Dreams, or will they be swept away in a Landslide?

Skies the Limit for this crew

The Final Four. Captained by Justin Dering

Justin Dering, Julius Mejia, Kitri Boser, Nicki Pomeroy

After missing his chance to run it back with 4 Talls No Smalls, Justin is back in The TPL and is ready to return to the trophy with a new squad. This is a team comprised of new partnerships, as neither Justin/Julius nor Kitri/Nicki have played together. It is also rumored that they have not found the time to practice as a team due to this squad being spread across Minnesota and Wisconsin. That being said, they're all veterans of The TPL, and all are still playing plenty of pickleball. The rumor from the desk of Van Paddle is we'll see the mixed pairings of Justin/Kitri, and Julius/Nicki, but that could all be hearsay as they try and throw the scouts off. This squad feels aptly named, as this is a group who looks destined for a deep playoff run. But we all know The TPL is akin to March Madness, where anything can happen out on the court. Will this team follow in the footsteps of 2023 Purdue, or the 2025 Gators?

Basketpickle?

Jamie & The Expats. Captained by Adam Couzens

Adam Couzens, Yang Lo, Jamie Voelker, Nicole Idalski

One man from Laos, another from Australia, and a lady in Canada, this team is all over the place. And on January 31st, they'll bring the wisdom of the world together to the TPL stage. This is a team with deep championship pedigree. Outside of the defending champion Picklecats, this is the only team in the field where all 4 members have graced The TPL Cup, having a combined 6 titles amongst them, which is the most of any team in the field. While Jamie got her championship without these teammates, the expats share some titles together, with Adam/Nicole winning season 5 together, and Adam/Yang winning season 6 together. Getting together for a team practice before the big day has been proving difficult, though it likely won't matter for this battle tested bunch, as many TPL beat writers have this team as a top trophy contender. 

Yang is now tall?

LMFA Pros. Captained by Allen Ng

Allen Ng, Mark Elliott, Faith Lee, Lexi Portz

The LMFA Pros come in with a mirrored stat to the Expats, as they are the only team in the field where none of their team members have won The TPL Cup. But the LMFA Pros could care less. They're Sexy and They Know It, and first time captain Allen Ng has put together a very tough squad in his TPL debut.  He also has been thriving as a captain with their innovative team poster and team gif. Three questions remain for this team:

1. How will they line up for mixed?

2. How far will they push the LMFAO themed uniforms?

3. What will be their LMFA Pro walk out song? Will it be Sexy and I Know It, Shots, or Put That Ass To Work?

My vote is on Put That Ass To Work.

This team is ready to rock. And party. And Party Rock!

Stranger Dinks. Captained by Dan Forsythe.

Dan Forsythe, Chris Mavetz, Emily Gerads, Kris Portz

I've never watched Stranger Things so I have no Stranger Dinks metaphors for you. But what I do have is another team poster, and a squad that's fired up for season 9. This team has also been heavily featured in the Quest for the Cup docuseries. First it was captain Dan Forsythe appearing in the first two episodes, with his big hair, big personality, and his genuine excitement for The TPL and for this squad. Then came the heartwarming family focused stories of Kris Portz and Emily Gerads in episode 3, with cameo photos of college Mavetz. How will this new celebrity status affect their play in season 9? It's been tough to book any of them for play since the docuseries aired, as they've been tied up in media obligations, with Dan over in Japan completing his international TPL Tour. While Mavetz and Dan haven't been seen on a court together this season, Emily and Kris have been getting plenty of reps in. Plus, Kriz Portz is Lizzy Gerads's favorite player, so we're all screwed having that Lizzy magic working against us.

One season can change everything..

Unnamed Team. Captained by Unknown Player

Brandon Schenck, Jaryd Marks, Jasmine Lindberg, Missy Rosenthal

This team has been flying under the radar since the season 9 draft took place on November 16th. They've been quiet in the GroupMe chat. We haven't seen them in the docuseries. We haven't seen them pull up at The Shed. No team name, no poster, no uniform announcements.

But I implore you folks, don't let their silence fool you. The balls coming off their paddles on January 31st will be anything but quiet. This team will bring a ton of firepower as the hardest hitting team in Season 9. 

Is this silence by design, coming from TPL veteran Missy Rosenthal? Instructing her team to fly under the radar ahead of the tournament day, in order to catch everyone by surprise? Sorry, but we're onto your scheme Missy...

The POP Starz. Captained by Tom Spaniol

Tom Spaniol, Corbin Bentz, Jen Sheedy, Lake Johnson

What else is there to say about this team that the docuseries hasn't already covered? Spaniol and Lake have failed during their last 100 tries, Sheedy and Corbin haven't won anything yet. They're big documentary stars now. They're the loudest and most obnoxious team of this season, and have the most preposterous poster. The POP Starz have heard it all.

But while to the outside eye it seems like all fanfare and bright lights, this squad has been grinding in the shadows. Corbin has the whole team in on his 7 day a week workout regimen, Sheedy is out to make Van Paddle eat his words, and Lake hasn't even thought about the after party. 

Go ahead, place your bets against this washed up team. They're out to prove the haters wrong. 

Never Stop Never Stopping

One never knows what each TPL season is going to bring. Out of nowhere, this became the season of team posters and documentary episodes. What will the Season 9 event bring? Your guess is as good as mine, but I sure as hell can't wait to find out.

Pools will be drawn on the 24th at a Stranger Dinks team practice. 

Chipotle has been ordered for the after party. 

Our double venues of Sta Fit and The Shed are warmed and ready. 

Let's do this damn thing.

I'll see you all on January 31st.

-Tom Spaniol

TPL Season 8

(estimated read time: 29 minutes)

THIS LEAGUE!

If you've never seen this expression used on Twitter or elsewhere online, it is "used to express a sense of astonishment or amusement at a surprising, illogical, or outrageous event."

While I wouldn't call The TPL illogical (maybe it is to some), I would describe it as astonishing, surprising, and outrageous. Every single time. We've completed 8 of these historic events now, and the only thing we've learned over the past few years is this league is completely unpredictable. The matchups are too even, the variables too capricious. Guaranteed victories just don't exist in The TPL.

Leading up to the tournament after the draft happens there's always the barber shop talk, the predictions amongst friends. People so confident in who they think will be the teams to beat. While fun to do, it's rarely correct, as THIS LEAGUE doesn't care what your predictions are. We're here to be surprising and outrageous, and this past Saturday we got more of the same in season 8.

Pool Play

September Reign

A team many predicted to be tough as nails came out of the gates proving those folks right, as they opened with two dreambreaker wins over The Avengers and The Buckthorns, winning both dreambreakers in tightly contested battles, 22-20, and 25-23! My eyes witnessed the 25-23 dreambreaker win as Kitri/Adam pulled it out over Jenny/Jay Kedrowski in a phenomenal back and forth battle where each team had game point chances on their paddles. 

In round 3 they decided they were sick of the dreambreakers, and took down Dink Floyd 3-1, winning both gendered games before splitting the mixed in close two point finishes. But by round 4 they realized they missed playing that 5th dreambreaker game, so they reverted to their old strategy against The Talls and split both the gendered and mixed games, before coming up short against the tall people in the breaker. Their gendered lineups were clicking, as both Adam/John and Kitri/Jen finished 3-1 in pool play. As a squad, September Reign would also finish pool play 3-1, and secured the #1 seed in Pool A heading into the playoffs. Perhaps they lost that last game as they didn't want to deal with the curse of the undefeated. But what about the curse of the top seed?

I finally get it, they were dressed as the changing fall colors

Dink Floyd

Finally the day had come and it was time to See Emily Play. And play did she ever. Emily G/Lexi came out of the gates hot with a 21-12 win over the Funky Bunch gals setting the tone. However, after the men lost and they split the mixed, they found themselves in a round 1 dreambreaker, coming up just short to Marky Mark. They decided it was Time for The Hero's Return in round 2, sweeping the defending champion 4 Talls No Smalls. 

In round 3 they took a tough 3-1 loss to September Reign, before deciding to save their energy for the playoffs, and took a 0-4 sweep loss to The Buckthorns. Dink Floyd finished pool play 1-3, and secured the #3 seed in Pool A. Despite the 1-3 record, hey had High Hopes of Coming Back To Life in the playoffs.

The Happiest Days Of Our Lives

4 Talls No Smalls

A few weeks before they hit the courts to defend their title, The Talls got some tough news. TPL veteran Justin Dering would miss season 8 due to a celebration of life event for a family member. How would they ever replace Justin? Could they find someone close to as tall? Luckily their network of great pickleballers and great humans is vast, as The Talls snagged Brandon Schenck a week before the event. 

Having a new lineup and throwing a lefty into the mix proved to be an early challenge for The Talls, as they lost the opener 3-1 to Volley Llamas, lost round two 4-0 to Dink Floyd, lost 3-1 to The Buckthorns, before finally getting back in the W column with a round 4 dreambreaker win over September Reign. The Talls would finish pool play 1-3 as the #4 seed after losing the head to head tiebreaker with Dink Floyd. But you wouldn't overlook the defending champions when things moved inside to The Shed, would you?

Whispers- "I see tall people"

The Buckthorns

Invasive AF. That was the motto for The Buckthorns. And while they lost their first two matches in tightly contested dreambreakers, you knew they weren't going to just go away. These are The Buckthorns we're talking about. One does not simply get rid of The Buckthorns. The first two "extra innings" dreambreakers, where they lost 22-20, and 25-23, did nothing but excite the Buckthorns, as they knew it was now their time to deplete their opponents of all their nutrients and leave them starving. And deplete them did they ever as Jenny/Kris started to heat up. In round 3 they cruised to a 3-1 win over The Talls, before sweeping Dink Floyd 4-0 to end pool play. Spaniol reminded his team of a quote legendary high school baseball coach Bob Karn would say each spring, "Our record doesn't matter, our goal is to just be playing our best ball heading into the playoffs." 

With that in mind, The Buckthorns were feeling great about their 2-2 record, slotting them as the #2 seed in Pool A heading to The Shed.

So invasive of our partner's court space, or maybe that's just me

The Avengers

As Coach Herman Boone said in Remember The Titans, "You cannot replace a Gary Bertier." The same could be said for TPL staple Nicole Idalski, who had played in each of the first 7 seasons, winning the title twice. But with just a few weeks to go, Nicole had to drop out due to injury, and captain Dan Forsythe was left with the monumental task of filling the void. Dan and squad picked up Faith Lee who made her TPL debut, and the rookie stepped in and had a great showing. The Avengers lost a tight 22-20 dreambreaker in their wild card round to September Reign, and dropped another dreambreaker in round 2 to Volly & The Picklecats. 

They found their footing in round 3 with a tight 3-1 win over Marky Mark, with three of the four games being decided by 2 points. The Avengers won their round 4 matchup in a dreambreaker over The Volley Llamas, meaning their 2-2 finish would hand them the #3 seed in Pool B. Much like the aformentioned Buckthorns, they were feeling strong heading into the playoffs with some momentum at their backs, led by their undefeated mixed squad of Dan/Jasmine. 

I really like this patio photo backdrop

Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch

Front runners for best dressed with Mark looking jacked as ever, Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch won their opening wild card match in a Dream Breaker over Dink Floyd, lost a round 2 dreambreaker to Volley Llamas, before deciding they've had enough of going to 5 games, as they got their next two matches done in four games. Round 3 they lost a barnburner to The Avengers 3-1, and ended pool play with one of the wildest scorelines we've ever seen against The Picklecats. The end result looks like domination, as they won in a 4-0 sweep. But looking at the scores, the 4-0 sweep consisted of: 

Womens: 25-23

Mens: 23-21

Mixed 1: 22-20

Mixed 2: 22-20

I can't say I recall ever seeing a sweep with all 2 point games! With that wild sweep, they earned themselves the #2 seed in Pool B.

I think they won best dressed

The Volley Llamas

Also very well dressed with their matching custom Volley Llama tank tops, the llamas were ready to adapt to the harsh environment of The TPL. They came out of the gates hot with a 3-1 win over the defending champs, their only loss being a 23-25 mens thriller! Then they decided they wanted MORE PICKLEBALL, and went to dreambreakers for every match against their pool. They won their round 2 and 3 breakers against Marky Mark and The Picklecats, before losing a two point thriller to The Avengers to end pool play. We will not mention the shot that Chris Mavetz missed to end that dreambreaker. We definitely will make sure we do not mention that in the write up.

Volley Llamas were fine with the round 4 loss, as they too didn't want the curse of the undefeated. They finished pool play as the #1 seed in Pool B with a 3-1 record. 

But these Llama shirts also totally rocked

Volly and The Picklecats

With their cat ears ready to go, this squad got a full family matchup in round 1, as Volly squared off against her mother, and Jay was set to play his bride Kris. Volly and Jenny would trade blows in the doubles games, with Volly/Emily coming out on top in womens, but Jenny/Tom getting the win over Volly/Manny in mixed. Jay P/Emily topped Jay K/Kris in the Portz mixed matchup, forcing a dreambreaker. The breaker started with Tom/Jenny again getting the best of Manny/Volly, and as Jay K/Kris came on they widened the lead all the way to 20-13 at one point. But there these cats were, using up all 9 lives, as they just kept hacking away at the Buckthorns. Jay and Emily came all the way back to win it 22-20 in one of the finest comebacks in TPL history. It was not the first time Emily Schadow has come back to win being down 13-20, and probably won't be her last!

For the remained of their pool play session, The Picklecats continued to be in nothing but tight battles. They won round 2 in a dreambreaker, lost round 3 in a dreambreaker, before losing round 4 in that ridiculous sweep with every game being decided by 2 points and going "extra innings."

While they finished as the 4th seed in Pool B with a 2-2 record, this team was extremely battle tested, and they felt confident they could weather any storm that they playoffs would throw at them. 

Album drops on October 30th

Picklecat fans!

Standings after Pool Play

Pool A

#1 September Reign (3-1)

#2 Buckthorns (2-2)

#3 Dink Floyd (1-3)

#4 4 Talls No Smalls (1-3. Lost head to head to Dink Floyd)

Pool B

#1 Volley Llamas (3-1)

#2 Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch (2-2)

#3 The Avengers (2-2)

#4 Volly & The Picklecats (2-2)

(3 way tie, came down to games net)

Quarterfinals

Both top seeds chose to take a rest, which sent out the 2 v 3 matchups to get things kicked off at The Shed. On the far court, right out of the gates we of course had to go to a playoff dreambreaker between Dink Floyd and Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch. Emily G/Lexi won the women's over Sheedy/Nicki, before Marky Mark/Zach got funky on Jason/Julius. In the first mixed match Sheedy/Zach bested Lexi/Julius, setting up a win or go home game for TPL legends Emily/Jason against the lefty/lefty combo of Nicki/Mark. The local's TPL experience, Shed experience, and partnership experience all paid off, as they took down the lefties, sending this match to a playoff dreambreaker. The Funky Bunch chose gendered, and Dink Floyd sent the men out first. Jason/Julius avenged their men's game loss and handed it over to their ladies 11-8. In one of the most dramatic playoff dreambreakers we've had, Dink Floyd held on to a late 20-18 lead, before the Funky gals Nicki/Sheedy went on a 4 point run to seal the win, 22-20. While the members of Dink Floyd could have decided to Run Like Hell and get out of there, they all chose to stay until the very end, sink into their IPA's, and get Comfortably Numb while watching the rest of the TPL action. 

Dink Floyd held it down for the playoff watch party

On court 1, the other QF matchup between The Avengers and The Buckthorns got under way with the Buckthorn ladies starting hot as Kris Portz could not be stopped, giving their squad an early 1-0 lead. I (Tom) recall watching from the sidelines and yelling things like "Are you kidding me!?" And "Kris Portz everybody!" Multiple times.  The men came on and kept their streak going, as Tom/Jay K beat Dan/Yang, despite Yang growing an epic mustache nearly overnight. The Buckthorns chose to be the away team and sent out Jay K/Kris first, with The Avengers leaving their season in the hands of Yang and TPL rookie Faith Lee. Both played lights out with impressive angles and overheads galore, as they clutched up to set up a battle of the undefeated mixed teams, with both Dan/Jasmine and Tom/Jenny coming into the game 4-0 in mixed on the day. While The Avengers duo had the strength of the galaxy behind them, it still wasn't enough to get rid of the pesky Buckthorns, as Tom/Jenny secured the win sending their team to the semi finals.

The dynamic duo of Jasmine & Dan

After both #1 seeds chose to take a break following pool play, it was time for them to get back at it as top seeded September Reign squared off against low seeded Volly & The Pickle Cats on the far court. The two would split gendered with Emily S/Volly getting the win over Kitri/Jen, and Adam/John beating Manny/Jay P. Mixed would go in a similar fashion, as Adam/Kitri beat Emily S/Jay P, and Manny/Volly beat John/Jen. With another playoff dreambreaker set to take place, the home team September Reign decided to go with the new mixed dreambreaker format. They chose their lineups of Adam/Kitri, and John/Jen. The Picklecats then got to counter with who plays again whom and when. They decided to send out Adam/Kitri vs The Cat's Emily S/Jay P first, with September Reign leading 11-6 at the switch. John/Jen fought to hold on to that lead, but Manny/Volly kept on chip chip chipping away, again using all of their 9 lives, as they edged out John/Jen, 21-18, sending the top seed to the buffet early.

This is the type of form they advertise in magazines

Tough to beat a good kitchen hang at The Shed

On court 1 The Volley Llamas were looking to not fall prey to the curse of the top seed as they matched up against the defending champion Tall squad. Missy/Lake started off hot for the Llamas beating the Tall gals Genna/Jamie. Genna questioned her pickleball abilities for a solid 20 minutes after the game on the sidelines, but she would get her chance at revenge. The men came on and Kyle/Brandon found their groove getting the bounce back win for The Talls. The first mixed matchup was a battle as Lake/Corbin had been playing great all day, against Jamie/Kyle who were looking to get in synch. And get in synch just at the right time they did, as they handed Lake/Corbin only their second loss of the day, setting up TPL rookie Brandon and his tall partner Genna with the chance to secure the upset. But waiting on the other side of the court was 3 time champion Christopher Mavetz and veteran Missy Rosenthal, who wouldn't go down without a fight. The decompressing time on the sidelines worked wonders for Genna and Brandon, as they played a clean pickleball game, and sent the top seeded Volley Llamas to the showers early. (well, none of them showered, but maybe they should have?)

Wait, who is this guy?

Semifinals

On the far court we had a round 4 pool play rematch featuring The Picklecats and Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch. You know, the famous 4-0 sweep where each game went to "extra innings." Things would end up working a bit differently this time. Well, quite differently. Emily S/Volly avenged their 25-23 loss by topping Nicki/Sheedy in the opener, 21-16. Zach/Marky Mark came out blazing and had the Funky Bunch up with a 13-3 lead. When you're watching at The Shed you can't always hear the score on the far court, and if you caught the score at 13-3, you might have thought, oh okay, that one is over, I'll watch the action on court 1. If you heard the score a bit later at 16-8, you might have still thought the same thing. But those damn Cats kept clawing away, as Manny/Jay P were not to be denied. They brought it all the way back, and after losing to Zach/Mark 23-21 in pool play, they beat them by that exact score, 23-21, to secure a 2-0 playoff lead for their Picklecats. The Funky Bunch sent out Sheedy/Zach to keep their season alive, but Manny/Volly had other plans, as they topped the Funky Bunch 21-17, avenging their pool play sweep loss with a sweep victory of their own! For the first time in his TPL career, Jay Portz would play for The TPL Cup. The rest of their team had been there before, behind Volly's season 5 title, and Emily's 4 championship appearances. Would that experience, and the momentum of their playoff upsets be enough to hoist the cup!?

More impeccable form

Court 1 also featured a pool play rematch, as 4 Talls No Smalls met up with The Buckthorns in round 3 at Apollo. The playoff match started with The Tall ladies avenging their 16-21 pool play loss, getting a win over The Buckthorn baddies (am I allowed to call them that?) The Tall men, who also lost 16-21 to Tom/Jay K during pool play, looked to be on their way to avenging their loss as well, as they were up 17-12 when The Buckthorn boys took a timeout. Whatever they talked about during that timeout seemed to work, as they rattled off 5 straight points, tying the game at 17 all. It continued to be a back and forth thriller, with Tom/Jay K pulling it out 22-20, keeping their winning streak alive. The Buckthorns, who chose to be the away team, sent Kris/Jay K out first, and The Talls matched with Genna/Brandon. Genna, now on fire after figuring it out during the quarterfinals, and Brandon playing like a veteran in his TPL debut, got the win, setting their team up with a chance to once again play for the TPL Cup. It would be up to Buckthorn Captain Tom Spaniol and two time cup chugger Jenny Johnson to try and clutch up against defending champs Jamie Voelker and Kyle Jordre who were now playing their best pickle of the day. After not having the desired control on her 3rd shots, Jenny said something to the effect of, "If it comes to me, I'm just going to rip the shit out of the ball." Rip away she did indeed, as Tom/Jenny got the W to remain unbeaten on the day, and more importantly, send this semifinal to a playoff dreambreaker. 

Tall gals taking up the full court

The ladies went first, and crazy Kris Portz was back, defending off blow after blow from The Talls, as The Buckthorn gals handed it over to their men on fire, 11-9. No epic comeback would be necessary this time, as Tom/Jay K commanded the lead, and held on to send The Buckthorns to the TPL Season 8 Championship Match.

Invasive and in synch

Championship

The storylines were aplenty for the championship match as The Buckthorns took on Volly & The Picklecats. It was a rematch from round 1 that went to a dreambreaker with Emily S/Jay P pulling out that epic DB comeback. We knew some sort of Portz/Johnson combo would be winning the title, but who would fare best against their household? What were Tom, Jay K, Manny, and Emily S supposed to do- sit back and not get in the middle of it, or help stir up the family drama?

"You ready to rumble young cat?"
"Sure am old buckthorn."
-Me and Volly, probably

Both squads decided to put ancestry aside and go for it all, as the championship match was underway. The Picklecat ladies backed up their round 1 win over Jenny/Kris by doing it again, giving the cats an early 1-0 lead. But The Buckthorn boys would not be denied, as they cruised to a 21-14 win, finishing the day undefeated in men's doubles. Buckthorn captain Tom once again chose to be the away team, and The Buckthorns trotted out Jay K/Kris to take on Emily S/Jay P. The Picklecats had more than just the on court storm to weather, as much of The Shed collective was yelling and booing any time Jay Portz hit the ball at Kris. But they kept their heads down and continued to play spoiler, as they beat Kedrowski/Kris, setting up the all important game 4 mixed showdown. 

I find that a good lunge really helps the pickle game

Clutch city from these cats!

In round 1 these two played, with Tom/Jenny cruising to a victory over Manny/Volly 21-16. They would then see them again in the round 1 dreambreaker, and again bested the two youngins in their half. Perhaps Manny/Volly had learned along the way, as they had a different energy on the court this time, now 9 hours later. The heavyweights exchanged blow after blow, for much of the game it seemed no one could score on offense, as points were traded one at a time. Tom/Jenny led 11-10 at the switch, but The Picklecats did what The Picklecats do, and they hung in there, refusing to give any ground to The Buckthorns. With Volly ripping speedups and angles, and Manny being a brick wall, The Picklecats were just too much in this family affair, as they came out on top 21-18, securing The TPL Season 8 Title!

Sunset champagne, come on!

And incredible "worst to first" run for The Picklecats, as they went from the last seed in their pool to hoisting The TPL Cup. But an even more impressive "worst to first" individual story for Jay Portz, who told me after the match that he went 0-10 during season 7. To go from not winning a game, to being so clutch in the playoffs and helping lead his team to victory, has to be the finest comeback story The TPL has ever seen. So I once again say- THIS LEAGUE.

This man found the luck of the troll while in Norway!

And of course a big congratulations to the rest of The Picklecats squad! After finishing second 4 times, Emily Schadow finally won The TPL Cup, and she went 2-0 in the championship match to make sure there would be no second place this time. Manny also won his first title after playing in 7 of the 8 TPL's. And Volly won her second title, even though her mother completely forgot about her season 5 win while posting on Instagram the next day. Worthy champions all around, who will forever have their names engrained upon The TPL Cup as our Season 8 winners!

Season 8 Champions: Volly & The Pickle Cats

No more silver medals for Emily!

Stats for the nerds:

Top Performing Gendered Doubles Teams

• Lake Johnson and Missy Rosenthal: 4-1
• Adam Couzens and John Michaud: 4-1
• Tom Spaniol and Jay Kedrowski: 7-0

Top Performing Mixed Doubles Teams (min 5 games)

• Jasmine Lindberg and Dan Forsythe: 4-1
• Volly Johnson and Manny Obregon: 5-1
• Jenny Johnson and Tom Spaniol: 6-1

Top Individual Performances

• Lake Johnson: 7-3
• Tom Spaniol: 13-1

The following quote is Jenny Johnson's, and she said I have to put it here otherwise she won't play with me ever again- "And that's why it's called The TPL, bitch."

Getting locked the F in before The TPL

Other Stats

• Highest scoring game: 25-23 (twice!). Sheedy/Nicki over Volly/Emily S, and September Reign over The Buckthorns in a dreambreaker. Once again Sheedy was in the highest scoring game!
• Dreambreakers: 12. There were 11 last year!
• 39% of pool play games were decided by 2 points! (29 out of 73)
• 73 pool play games were played. The max would be 80 if every match went to a DB
• People who stayed until the championship ended: Tons of you, well done folks!
• Outfit changes from Genna: 5. Saturday driving outfit, playing outfit, afterparty outfit, sleeping outfit, Sunday driving outfit.

For all that "curse of the undefeated" talk, it looks like that doesn't just pertain to teams, but also individuals. Perhaps I should have thought of that and dropped an early pool play game. Taking your first loss in the championship, in the game that was needed the most is always a heartbreaker, but that's sports. I'm still mighty proud of The Buckthorn gang. We set out to be invasive, and we remained invasive all day. I've loved all 8 TPL's, but this was some of the most fun I've had, despite losing a soul crushing championship match.

32 of us want to win this thing each time it rolls around, and 28 of us will leave disappointed. Well, "leave" disappointed isn't quite true. For the most part, it seems as though the heartbreak and disappointment is there for the first 30 minutes or so. You question whether you want to ever play in The TPL again, and even whether you ever want to play pickleball again. But then you have some pizza and maybe a beer or two, you sit around and laugh with your 32 best friends, and by the time the night is over you're already looking forward to the next one.

Dan had a great quote after he and Jasmine lost their first game all day and their Avenger's playoff run was over. He said to me, "Man, I really wanted to beat you guys (Jenny and I). I really like winning against my friends."

Ain't that the truth, and so relevant in The TPL. In other tournaments, you'll play games where you have no idea who the other team is. But in The TPL, we're all great friends. And whether we all want to admit it or not, there is something great about beating your friends 😂. On the court, I want to beat you, I think you're stupid, and your face is dumb. But as soon as the game is over, we're back to being great friends and are laughing and joking about who knows what. 

Just look at how intense these two are

This really seems to be the spirit of The TPL. Somehow we gather 32 people that mesh and truly appreciate each other. We give each other plenty of shit, and will have our fiery moments on the court, but the day always ends with laughter and hugs (and maybe even some tears!)

As the Buckthorns were reminiscing on this past event in our group text, Jenny was describing why it was such a great day, and she added "Can't quite put my finger on it, but I think it's because I just felt like I was at home with my family."

💖

A family indeed. Thank you all for fostering this environment where we all care for each other, all want the best for each other, except for those few minutes when we're across the net from each other. What an exceptional balance of competition and camaraderie- the motto of The TPL. Both have only gotten stronger as the seasons have gone by, and that's due to all of you and how you choose to approach this event. Thank you for making it what it is. It is a great honor of my life to play a part in cultivating the movement that has become The TPL.

Thank you, from the both of us

I can't want to see you all for season 9 on January 31st!

(and hopefully before then too! Please hang out with me!)

I love you all and will miss you like crazy.

-Tom Spaniol

p.s.

A special thanks to Troy Poetz for not only creating the waivers to make sure you guys don't sue me, but for also helping all day long with scorekeeping, hauling gear, filling coolers, taking down nets, and cheering on The Buckthorns (maybe he was also cheering for your team, but I doubt it.) 

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