Be You

I believe I've alluded to this before, but I like to read and listen to a lot of different stuff in the personal development arena, or as I like to call it "Become a badass" section. Along with the incredible knowledge and ideas you can find there, also comes a ton of opinions. At times it can be a lot when you're hearing different things from different people, and they each seem to be "successful" (more on that word later). Whose advice do you follow? Who do you believe?

The best advice I've ever heard is a line from Jim Rohn that he often used in his speeches, "Make sure what you do is the product of your own conclusion." 

But let me be very clear about what Jim would always talk about right after using that quote. He'd say, "You've got to read the books, you've got to go to the class, you've got to attend the seminar." Making sure that what you do is a product of your own conclusion doesn't mean you should never listen to others and just go off on your merry way. Quite the opposite. Talk to those who inspire you. Be a sponge, soak in as much good information as you can. Get out and see things, listen to people, learn as much as you can from as many as you can. Meditate, think. But what you do with all the information, what you do with the opinions and experiences of others, that is up to you. That is how you mold your own personal philosophy. Put it into the actions that are right for you. You know what gets you going by how you feel, and only you can feel your feelings. Trust your intuition on what's right for you.

Gary V talked about the same thing the other day in a different way saying, "There is no right. There is only right for you." I absolutely loved this. There is only right for you. There's so many heated opinions, all with their "data" to back it, on every subject. But what works for someone doesn't have to be right for someone else. Everyone has different desires, there's no one size fits all here. And that's okay. That's the beautiful thing about this place we live called earth. We all get to be ourselves and choose how we want to experience this life, not how someone else wants us to.

He also mentioned in one of his Instagram videos how he "Has no desire to go on a skiing vacation, or go to breweries." He thought those were stupid uses of his time. Which is quite hilarious, because I happen to love both of those things. I'm trying to set up my life so I can go skiing when and where I want, and hopefully even ski right into a brewery, with my skis on, the ultimate apres ski. And while that's my desire, Gary wants none of that. And that's okay. He made sure to point out that if that's someones desire, that is absolutely awesome, it's just not his. He is self aware of what he loves, and I'm aware of what I love. And that's all that matters.  I do a whole lot of things that wouldn't be right for other people, things many would totally hate and couldn't comprehend doing, but it's totally right for me right now. Here's a small list
-Don't have a house, live in an apartment
-Lease a car
-Don't have a real job (what the hell is a "real" job qualified as anyways?)
-Play racquetball with old people
-Don't understand the difference between retirement and what I'm doing now
-I'm not, quote, "Using my major," who gives a shit right? Apparently some people give large shits about this one (not in my specific case, but that's a big one for kids/their parents)
-Have a network marketing business
-Don't have an ACL in my knee (don't really need those, overrated ligament)
-Put my thoughts on the internet in the form of this blog

Some would look at all that and think to themselves, "He's not really successful eh, kid doesn't even own property." But what is the definition of success? It's really different for everyone. I've found two people's ideas that I've really loved. Old philosopher Earl Nightingale said the best definition for success he ever found was, "Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal." In English = constantly pursuing something that you desire. Having something in mind, and going for it. If you're constantly improving in your craft on the way to being your best self, you are successful by his definition.

Derek Sivers had an interesting idea when he was on Tim Ferris's podcast and Tim asked him who's the first person you think of when you hear the word success. He initially said Richard Branson, but then said we can't really know if someone is successful without knowing their intent. If Branson's whole goal was to live a quiet peaceful life but got addicted to building companies and couldn't stop, is he a success? Interesting idea and perspective. What I took out of both his and Earl's definition is again, it's all about what you want. Success is not for someone else to define for you, it's up to you. If you are going after what makes you happy, what gets you energized, then that's all that matters.

Does this mean you never have to do things you don't want to do? No. That's part of life and having self discipline, aka the ability to do things you don't want to do, to get the results that you want. (Working out, eating healthy, making sales calls, cleaning the bathroom, etc) Sometimes you'll do some things you don't love. But become self aware of what you really like, what you're all about, and be and do those things more. For you. Not because someone else told you to.

Sometimes you just have to listen to the advice of Ace Ventura from the opening scene of When Nature Calls. He's climbing a mountain to save a racoon and a helicopter pilot tells him he'd turn back if he was Ace, and Ace says, "Yeah? Well if you were me then I'd be you, and I'd use your body to get to the top. You can't stop me no matter who you are!"  Just fantastic advice from my favorite movie character ever.  He's always going to be himself, even if he was in a different body. You can't take his mind, his desires, his passions away from him. And don't let anybody take yours. Be you. Do what you want for you. Pay attention to what fires you up, what makes you laugh, what sends energy throughout your body. And do more of it, no matter what anybody else says. I think I used this quote on another post but it's incredibly relevant here again, "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."  We don't need you to be a doctor, or accountant, or painter, or engineer, just because someone else thinks you should. We need you to be you, and make decisions based off your own fire inside. Because when you're truly being you and doing what you want to do, the whole world is benefiting from your energy. 

My hero in action

Just today one of my friends in a group message was telling all of us how her son, who's 14, took the opposing side of a controversial topic to debate for a class in school and he's been catching a lot of ridicule and being mocked by classmates and others. But he's continuing on, and standing by his view, because it is right for him. That takes a lot of guts as a 14 year old to be yourself, to even wear different shoes than everybody else, much less stick by your stance on a topic when everyone is ridiculing you for it. Isaak, when you read this, just know that YOU ARE A BADASS, and keep being you, always.

This was a longer post, but to sum it all up; take it all in, learn from others - especially those who you're energized by, read the books, listen to the speeches, attend the classes, and formulate your philosophy of this life, for you. 

So yeah, that means you don't have to follow this advice at all if you don't want to. It's all up to you.

Be awesome.


Tom Spaniol

"The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it is conformity."
 -Rollo May
 

You Are Not Your Test Score

For those that don't know I used to be a teacher. And despite the amount of time I spent in the gym chucking dodgeballs with my 5th and 6th grade classes, I was actually a normal classroom reading teacher, not a gym teacher.

Because of how the school system is setup, the only thing that seemed to matter was the all mighty standardized tests we took in the spring. And the one thing I didn't seem to prepare my kids all too well for was the all mighty standardized tests we took in the spring. As a teacher my heart simply wasn't behind it. And this post isn't meant to be a debate about standardize tests (they're dumb), but more of what I noticed happening with kids because of their test scores. What their faces would say when they saw their score, their body language. Many were defeated and would completely lose confidence. I'm not for participation trophies in sports, but judging all the kids in a grade on the same test and telling the ones who fall below some line that they don't meet the standards just kinda sucks. All of the kids were uniquely amazing, but some just weren't going to get a score "above the standard," it's not how their brains worked. And it sucks because that test has nothing to do with the type of person you are or who you'll become.

It was certainly true for me.

I got a 20 on my ACT in high school, and as much as I claimed I didn't care, obviously it made me feel stupid at the time. Because that's what I was conditioned to think. Through the college application process it was reinforced over and over, "Hmmmmmmm, if you could just get that ACT up you'll qualify for this scholarship."  Well admissions person, I can't, because that test is lame and my brain doesn't function that way. And obviously 0 people have ever asked for that score again and me and my 20 score immediately got a job after college just fine. 

While being good at memorizing science and nailing the math portion will indeed have a direct effect on money spent for college, it will never compare to the money that will pour back into your life when you continually improve at the things that matter most. Things like how to talk to people, how to make others smile, how to give, how to bring excitement and fun and passion. How to connect people and ideas together. How to manifest and create what you truly desire. How to grow daily, persist, and push through difficulties.

Here's the point I'm trying to make. Never attach your self worth to a test score, a rank in a company, or a job title.  I'm not saying don't strive for better scores, ranks, or titles. That's awesome and highly necessary. And if you don't hit it when you thought you would, or get a lower score, just please don't attach the love you have for yourself to that result. Love yourself for your effort in the process, learn from not achieving it yet, and get after it again. Too many people, past me being one of them, lose self confidence and shrink because of the title we do or don't have. It reminds me of the Les Brown quote, "Don't let someone else's opinion of you become your reality." Often times that someone else isn't even a person, it's a number or a title. And once you're given that, you believe that's who you are, and you go through life proving it to yourself. Your mind is always looking to prove yourself right, so whatever you believe about yourself and the world, you're going to see and manifest. Only you can choose your believes about you.


Here's the other side of that equation; the way to get that higher rank or title is to love yourself where you're at while you grow to be all you desire.  Love yourself first. Not, "I'll be happy when ___." But now. Love yourself now and everything will change. You are the only you we have on this planet, and we need you to love yourself so that you can step into your awesomeness. The human race is counting on it. So look yourself in the mirror and say "I love you," outloud (not easy right away, but just do it) and step into your awesomeness. Tell yourself that you're a badass, because you are a badass, and I know it. I don't care what your title or test score is.

Be Awesome.


-Tom Spaniol

"Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." -Albert Einstein