The number one question I get from raving fans while I'm trying to keep to myself at the grocery store is, "How do you come up with the stuff you write about?" This happens all the time since I've already written 6 whole posts. I usually say that it just pops into my mind. And while that's true, it's not the whole truth. These are all things that have come up in my mind many times before. When ideas came to me in my daydreams the vision came as me either writing them or sharing them in front of people, on stage or in front of a room of some sort. And I'd always give a killer speech, people would laugh and smile and feel all jazzed up, throw cabbage at my feet, and when my daydream was over I'd do nothing about it. These ideas would pop up and I'd beat their ass back down like a good game of Whac-A-Mole.
While I was doing yoga from this video (great freaking yoga session right there) the instructor dropped a quick little line that I found to be profound and worth examining. Amidst doing something quite difficult she said, "What gets loud when you get quiet?" When I got done with my initial thoughts of, "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that's a good one," I started to think about it more. When I get quiet, whether it's through meditation, driving somewhere, staring off into the abyss, or sitting in an unengaging class, where do my thoughts go to? What takes over?
"The power of thought, if understood and correctly used, is the greatest labor-saving device ever dreamed of." -Charles F. Haanel
Often times it was these sorts of ideas. But not so much just the idea, it was sharing the idea. I always pictured me providing value to others in the form of sharing my insight/knowledge/thoughts/ideas. As Will Smith says, "If you are not making someone else's life better, you are wasting your time." If even just one thing from my brain, that I decided to put onto the internets, helps one person, it's all worth it for me. If you know me you know I like to share the fun with others. That's also probably because I'm a human being. We all love to share the stuff we love and are interested in with others. July 3rd would be no fun by myself, duh. #becauseitsthethird
This is why I was pleased with myself when I finally started doing something about the loud thoughts when I got quiet, and took action on them and created this blog. Doing something about your thoughts feels nice.
So the big question for all of you internet people is, "What gets loud when you get quiet?" What ideas are you giving the Whac-A-Mole treatment to as it constantly pops up in your mind? What is it that you know you're supposed to start doing but you keep putting off? What are the thoughts that move your feelings? Feel them. Notice them. Take some action on them. You'll enjoy it. Be awesome. -Tom Spaniol "Thoughts are the rocket ship, feelings are the fuel." -Rhonda Byrne
If you sat here and watched my morning routine, you'd probably think I was a psycho. So I'm going to tell you about it, and you can then think I'm a psycho. A freaking awesome psycho. Because remember, "Everyone is living in their own self created illusion."
I'm not one of those guys who's all like "You must get up at 5am if you want to be successful." I know the title is telling you to change your morning, but don't change anything if you don't want to. You really just gotta figure out what works best for you, and importantly what feels best. I simply feel better all day when I get out of bed around 6:30am and go through this routine. I'll explain that in a second.
If you told me 10 years ago when I was a dumpy 19 year old college student that I'd be getting out of bed everyday at 6:30am and doing the things I do, I would have thrown a Keystone Light at your face. I used to be the king of sleeping in, as most high school/college kids are. I was the classic wake up at 11am if I didn't have class before that type fella. I thought I needed that much sleep, but I really always felt groggy waking up that late. Yet I continued to do it.
Fast forward to now, like most people my age, I can't sleep in anymore. And more interestingly, I've noticed if I even sleep until around 8-9am my head simply does not feel good. Not clear, no good, takes me a while to get clear that day if ever. I'll admit though, I still happen to sleep in some weekends, I'm no get out of bed hero, but I don't really know why I do it because I just feel worse. If you feel great after sleeping in, more power to you, do that more.
What I now do, and will probably continue to tweak over time, I created from a combination of different people I've read or listened to- Tim Ferris, Tony Robbins, Rhonda Byrne, etc. So what the hell do I do every morning? Right, that's what we're talking about.
I wake up at 6:30am with my alarm. I'm usually very tired, and would not be able to get up without the alarm. I'm also usually so tired I used to always hit the snooze if I knew my schedule would allow it, so now I put my phone far out of reach which causes me to actually get up out of bed to turn my alarm off. By that point of getting up to shut off my alarm, I'm not going back to bed anymore. That was a great trick Mel Robbins suggested and really helped a big time sleeper like myself.
Once awake I put on headphones and turn on some meditation music where I have a little session of gratitude, then visualization seeing all the things I desire as being done (In my closet. Sure it's weird, but it's cool), then I journal. Tim Ferris really inspired me to start journaling in the morning, I was never a fan of it, but he has a way of making things sound awesome so I gave it a try and love what it does for my day. I just write about a page worth of a little pocket notebook most days. He says just write about anything, get it down on the page. So that's what I do. I then follow that with either yoga or racquetball. Usually 4-5 days of yoga and 2 racquetball each week. If I have an early morning meeting or somewhere to be, I simply move up the wake up time. Doing those things are non negotiable for me when I'm at home. When I'm traveling I'm definitely not as good, I'd say not good at all, maybe I'll attempt to get better there. So that all still sounds pretty normal eh?
The weird (to some, not to me) really begins at breakfast. Or whenever the first time I eat that day is. Sometimes breakfast is around noon if I did some fasting. I never have breakfast without music. Spotify has possibly been the greatest investment in my life. Crushing music while making my breakfast has been the absolute game changer for me. It's an all out dance party, usually by myself. If Alissa is home it's both of us. The music is pretty strictly either The Greatest Showman soundtrack, Deadmau5, Macklemore, Lady Gaga, or T-Swift. Just all time good vibes music.
While we're rockin out and singing along to those awesome jams, I make the same thing nearly every day. Some fantastic coffee with coconut milk, garlic sausage from Costco, rice, avocado toast, and sometimes fried kale. That or this awesome sandwhich pictured below.
Besides the party in the kitchen, I think what people would find the weirdest is how much I enjoy my breakfast every morning. I literally freaking love it every time. Like every time. Fist pumps are thrown in the air, and I'm sitting there making those "mmmmm" sounds like Bob in this scene from What About Bob. Alissa can confirm this. This also happens at most dinners, desserts, and any time I drink her Kombucha.
But I'm not doing it as a joke, or to try to convince myself I'm enjoying my food. I actually just love the heck out of the food I make, certainly all the food Alissa creates. And I just enjoy enjoying things. What I've really realized by starting my day like this, with my routine, and then just enjoying the heck out of my food and dancing around my kitchen, is that when I have a great morning I have a great day. And when I have a couple great days in a row I have a great week. A few great weeks make a great month. And pretty soon I've had a great freaking life. It's simple math.
It's also taught me how fun life becomes when you enjoy the little things. When you're enjoying all the things that seem small, celebrating them and being grateful for them, it puts you on a different frequency, and more things that you'll want to celebrate and be grateful for will come to you. Or at least that's how I see it in my self created illusion of life.
Like I said before, you don't have to start popping out of bed just because I said so. This is what has worked for me, and hopefully it helps a few folks. I'm only writing this because I used to just wake up, shower, and rush
off to work, and I was definitely less happy throughout the day. Experiment and figure out what feels best for your body and your life. Be you. Even if it's short, try to do something new in the morning and see how it works. Write 10 things you're grateful for, play and rock out to your favorite song, journal, tell yourself how awesome you are. Whatever gets you GOING. It's always worth it to start your day jacked up.
Be Awesome.
-Tom Spaniol
"If you don't have 10 minutes, you don't have a life."
-Tony Robbins
At the end the Netflix documentary, Tony Robbins: I Am Not Your Guru, Tony takes the group attending his seminar through a reflective/meditative exercise (starts around the 1:43:15 mark if you'd care to watch). The exercise is meant to be very healing, to let go of something that you're holding on to and that's holding you back in life. The beauty of reading/watching different things is you can take what you'd like from it. I took something very different than I imagine most people in the audience did as this quote jumped out at me and took me down an interesting path into the lens I view this life through.
"I'm wondering what your earliest memory is. Where were you? What were you experiencing? What did it mean? What did you decide back then? It's a decision that effected the way you think about life."
When I heard this, with the awesome meditation music playing in the background, my earliest memory became clear to me. I don't really have any idea how old I was, but this moment stood out in my mind. I was in the front yard of our house in St. Cloud and I was climbing a tree. I remember climbing it, and hanging upside down just laughing and having a blast.
So what did it mean? What did I decide back then? I decided that life is about having fun. Exploring. Being adventurous. Being a little crazy and taking risks. I was probably 4 years old after all, and climbing a tree and hanging upside down, I assume I could've gotten hurt by falling on my neck but I obviously didn't care about that.
What's most intriguing to me about this exercise and Tony's words are his last statement saying, "It's a decision that effected the way you think about life." This was huge to me. I realized that back then as a little kid I decided life was all about fun. And it's a decision that truly guided my life. Now of course not every decision in my life has been based off "How much fun can I have," but it definitely has been a decision that has steered the course of my life.
I'm sure this isn't unique to me and most people think about fun all the time, so I better define my version of fun a bit more. From that first memory I think I decided that life was a big playground. I was here to run around, laugh with friends, play sports, ski, launch off jumps, climb stuff, then jump off the stuff, and flip off walls. This is no joke, in high school I would literally flip off walls during passing time, or go do backflips off the stairs when we were bored in study hall (Maaaark). I wasn't there to learn that boring stuff the teachers were talking at me, I was there to play. I laughed my butt off with my friends every single day of high school. It's simply how I saw life, and still see it today. I don't think I've ever been to someones house who has a trampoline and not jumped on it, even though none of the "grown ups" joined me.
I don't think Ben will ever grow out of this. He's in Utah right now huckin his meat off cliffs and jumps.
When I look outside while in a car I'm always noticing the parts of the ditch that look like a ramp I can launch off on skis, or the bridge I could huck myself off into water. Jen Scincero writes in her book You Are A Badass, "It's important to remember that everyone is living in their own self-created illusion." This is my self created illusion. This is what the world looks like through my lens. It's one big playground, and I just want to have as much fun as I can with all the fun people that I love.
What happens if you don't like what you decided about life back then, if
it no longer serves you? Change your decision.
Change your
thoughts, change your life. Adjust your lens and change the way you see this world. Can you can go from being a pessimist to being an outrageous optimist? Of course! You just have to decide to change your perspective. I'm no self help guru but I'm pretty sure it
is that simple. We just like to complicate things and think, "It can't be
that simple." It is. Not always easy, but simple. If you don't believe me get your own blog and
write about how wrong I am, this is my self created illusion over here. AND YOU'RE FREAKIN LIVIN IN IT BABY!
There are certainly other things that guide my life and get me excited about each day. I love to give, I love to teach, I love to eat the insane stuff Alissa makes every day (seriously it's insane, consider this your invite if you want to come experience iron chef America over here). But seeing life as a big playground with my friends is really what stood out to me while going through this exercise. My self-created illusion about life on this spinning orb is all about the funs. Watch the documentary, or just give that quote above some thought, maybe you'll learn a thing or two about yourself and why you live the way you do.
"If it's crazy live a little crazy." -Hugh Jackman in The Greatest Showman
Be awesome.
-Tom Spaniol
"Love Yourself"
Jen Sincero, about 100 times in her book You Are A Badass
A few years ago my answer to this question was a definite YES. My thoughts were as follows: Freakin Tom Brady and all his fancy super bowl wins. He's not even that good. He can hardly move and he's old as balls. He's only good because his defense is so good, and that old man kicker they had always saves him with game winning kicks. The way he always wins, it's just gross, screw the Patriots.
I also hated Bill Belichick. That stupid hoody (wear a freaking jacket dude!) the way he grumbles at press conferences, he always wins, ahhh he's so lame.
While we're on the hating successful athletes train, here's a list of people I also used to hate:
A-Rod, Jeter, Nick Saban, Phil Jackson, Kobe, all of the sport of soccer, and Tom Brady some more.
As you noticed because you're brilliant, I said "A few years ago," and "USED TO hate." I absolutely LOVE Tom Brady and his GOATness now. I also love all of the other names I listed there. I don't know when the exact shift happened, but somewhere around the past two years when I started getting really into mindset and how that creates your environment, I realized that all of these wildly successful athletes and coaches that I hated are people I should be studying rather than judging. Success leaves clues, and when you shift your mind to being open to learn from everyone rather than hating on people who have what you don't, amazing things can happen. And DAMN, it's so much more fun to embrace and appreciate the greatness and watch it unfold on my TV as opposed to hating. I mean, look at this guy yesterday.
The day starts off with a report from NFL Network saying that Brady walked into the team facility this week and said, "I am the baddest mother f***er on the planet." Tom Brady doesn't only say that now that he is the GOAT, Tom Brady has been telling himself that for a long time, which has in turn made him the goat. But not just telling himself that, believing it. Watch his documentary on Facebook called Tom vs Time. You'll get a whole new respect for the way he prepares both physically and mentally.
Next, look at this picture. My favorite photo of the day. Brady right after the Chiefs score. He has 2 minutes left. What do you think is going though his mind right there? Probably the same thing, "I am the baddest mother f***er on the planet." And he drives right down the field and they take the lead. Of course he does.
2nd favorite photo and quote of the day is Brady postgame to his WR Chris Hogan. Just brilliant, for all his haters. Mr. TB12 loves his haters and uses that to fuel his growth even more. He may even win a Superbowl in his 50s just because people think he's too old. Or he wins it this year and rides off into the sunsets of Costa Rica.
And did you see his Instagram video last night after the game?!?!?!?! Just him and Gronk, he speaks no words, with P. Diddy's "Bad Boys for Life" song in the background. Just when I thought he couldn't get any awesomeer......... he goes and does something like that. Good luck Rams.
Reflecting on all of my old hating made me think of this quote I saw on Lewis Howes' Instagram the other day:
That was definitely me. Criticizing Tom Brady and Kobe Bryant while losing a racquetball game to an old guy at the local YMCA. Classic.
So you can still hate Brady or any of those other top dogs, I'm just sharing my experience of how much more fun it has been to appreciate rather than hate their greatness, and learn as much as I can from these people who dominate their respective fields. I'm excited to watch Brady and Belichick go to work in Super Bowl 53. Who knows, it could just be the last time these GOAT's take the field together.
Be Awesome
-Tom Spaniol
"Thinking is the true business of life, power is the result."
-Charles F. Haanel
As Ace Venture said, "Three darts is too much." Quite possibly so is 3 posts in 3 days. I will not keep this pace up, time for a break, but for now here's post 3.
Keeping with the weird theme from my last post I have something to pass along to the internet people (you) that I learned from quite possibly the weirdest (and coolest) couple we know, which is why they're also some of our best friends. We met Shawn and Michelle Poe about 4.5 years ago and to say they've changed the direction of our lives would be an understatement. We've also had some outrageous times with these two, from 3am antics in hotels, getting politely asked to leave an Indianapolis bar, to taking over the DJ booth & dance floor in a foreign country.
typical facetime with these two
But one of the most profound things I learned from these folks was when I popped on to one of the 600 live videos Michelle did while over in Europe at a Tony Robbins event. Of all those videos she did, this happened to be the only one I watched, and it was freakin 20 minutes long! But it was very worth it and has a daily effect on my mindset. There came a point in the video where a quote was dropped that led me to create these two very artistic signs and tape them to my closet door where I would see them multiple times daily.
You can see I started writing on the other side but realized I wrote too largely and it wouldn't fit
I spelt "Believable" wrong on my 1st draft, words are hard
What I learned from the video I like to call the "Of Course" mindset. Here's the gist of the origin story. They're in Europe at this event and Shawn is hanging out with the co-founder and CEO of Spiritual Gangster, Ian Lopatin. Ian was telling Shawn about how earlier that day he finished taking a helicopter tour and when he got off, Woody Harrelson was also getting off a helicopter, and they spent some time chatting and hanging out. Shawn said to Ian, "You're telling me you just hung out with Woody Harrelson?" And Ian looked right at him and said "Of course." And kind of looked at him like, "duh." As Shawn said explaining this interaction- "That's just how his expectations are, that he's always going to attract incredible blessings and return the favor back to the world."
Then, there came another point where Shawn used the word "unbelievable" and Ian called him out for it, saying, "Stop using that word, and instead of it's unbelievable, say it's totally believable, and just say of course." I found this to be pretty profound for me. How often was I hearing about or seeing something awesome and saying, "that's unbelievable." Thus, telling my mind and setting my expectations that it is indeed not believable for my life. The same that happened for Shawn, I started to catch myself saying unbelievable and I'd quickly change it in my mind or out loud to "SO BELIEVABLE!" And with the "Of Course" mindset, I've truly tried to adopt this every day when both little and big things happen in my life. When I crush some morning yoga without falling on my head I say a quick, "Of course I crushed that," in my mind. When Alissa hands me a fresh glass of her famous blueberry ginger kombucha and she says, "Ohhh this one is really good." My answer is now, "Of course it is!" And here's the thing about both of these ideas, neither mean you're being cocky and ungrateful. Shawn and Michelle are some of the most gratitude filled people I know, and they say the same about Ian. That's exactly how he got to where he is! You can still wake up every day and be filled with gratitude for the big and small in your life. If anything my gratitude has only grown since adopting these mind shifts. Be grateful for all that you have while you pursue all that you desire. As Shawn says, "You can be more grateful while at the same time not limiting your beliefs on what's attainable." Expect awesome stuff to happen in your life. Expect to meet extraordinary people. Expect to BE an extraordinary person. Wake up in the morning and say, "Of course I'm going to crush this day. Of course awesome stuff is going to flow to me today." Then laugh and smile and go live awesomely. Or if you're a fan of the show Silicon Valley, just tell yourself what Russ Hanneman tells Jared, and say, "This guy ____'s," about yourself. (You know what I'm talkin about if you watch that show.) Or maybe you're more of a "duh" guy or gal. "Duh" is kind of like the cooler hipper version of "Of course," so feel free to use that in your daily mindset when sweet abundance comes your way. Just drop a "duh" and then be grateful. Go raise the standards on your beliefs, and expect them to come true. Party on.
OF COURSE they have a hairless cat
Had to give the original #freerangehuman one real photo
Be Awesome -Tom Spaniol
"As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is." -James Allen
Holy crud, back already. Is that alright? What's that mean, did I break it? Thought I'd put it out there in what my little sister calls "prime time," a time when apparently everyone is on the internets. Get weird on it.
Billionaire Venture Capitalist Chris Sacca gave the commencement speech at the University of Minnesota a few years ago where he gave the graduates his formula for "the path to happiness." The whole speech is brilliant, but the last and most important piece of his formula is what really stood out to me. "Be your unapologetically weird self."
It took me by surprise to hear a billionaire talk about being weird, wearing only cowboy shirts, and how mullet wigs change everything. But I freakin' loved it. Especially coming from a dude as successful as Chris, I felt like it gave me some permission to be who I really am, the weird ass dude who just wants to have a lot of fun. It also reminded me of some real world examples of me being my "unapologetically weird self," out in the real world. There's one place in particular where I really seem to step into the weirdness more than others: the dance floor. And more specifically: wedding dance floors.
I've always enjoyed movin' and grovin' my body to a good song, and really started to get down on the dance floor in college at the legendary GMA's on Saturday nights, but recently it's just gone to a whole new level of weird. I don't really know what happened, it kinda came out of no where, but about a year and a half ago my legs, specifically my feet, just started moving at incredible rates out on the dance floor. Some of you know have witnessed what I'm referencing.
The camera point is always a good dance move
At weddings, most "cool guys" post up in a chair a little off the dance floor and get into their "cool guy" position. You know, where they're slightly leaning back, hand on their drink with their bent black straw, possibly even have a leg up on the other knee, the ice on their wrist fully visible. I have nothing against this guy, and need the occasional break from shredding the floor myself, but when the music gets rockin my weird comes out and my hips don't lie.
Forgoing the dancing for videography
I used to let the thoughts creep in my head of, "All right, tone it down, adults are watching." (Because I'm still obviously not an adult) And wondering if I'm hurting my reputation or something. But I've fully come to embrace who I am, and be my absolute weird self. Being weird is awesome, and I want to do more awesome things.
One thing I didn't think about before writing this post is now people are going to expect a lot out of my wedding moves. Good. I'm ready. This is what I live for. I'm pretty weird outside of just dancing at weddings, that one just came to mind when I thought of Chris's quote. If you saw me in the morning singing and dancing while making breakfast you'd think I'm pretty weird. If you saw me as a 29 year old going as hard as I can against 14 year olds in dodge ball you'd think I'm pretty weird. If you were Alissa and you lived with me you'd think I'm pretty weird. But then again, if you were me and saw her up on a stool singing to her homemade kombucha or talking to her sauerkraut when it's fermenting, you'd think she's pretty damn weird too. Which makes sense why we're married. Chris wrapped up this speech with an even better quote that fit us to a tee. "We're all a little weird, and life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them. We fall in mutual weirdness, and we call it love." Keep being your true, unapologetically weird self, doing what you love with who you love as much as possible, and I'll see you on the dance floors of the world.
Alissa instructing me on my malasana yoga pose technique
Didn't think I'd go all love talk at the end of post #2. That was weird. Be Awesome. (And weird) -Tom Spaniol "Weirdness lies at the heart of all happiness. You wanna be happy? Just go on with your weird self." -Chris Sacca
Holy Testicle Tuesday! I started a blog. I know what you're thinking, "Blogs are lame, everyone does that, who are you, yada yada, something else." That's cool, then just think of it more as my journal, a reflection of the thoughts and ideas in my head. You also don't have to read it, but of course you will. The thrill of wondering what I'll write about next, from something outrageous and hilarious to something absolutely brilliant and inspirational, to possibly a recipe from Alissa that'll take you on a private jet straight to flavor town, it'll have you at the edge of your seat just wondering when this guy will post again.
When I thought of my love of writing I realized that I actually had blogged twice before, both while back in college. First I had to create a blog for a Media Literacy class I took, that's actually why I had to title this Thunder Tom's Thoughts; the simple Tom Spaniol blog was taken by my college self and I didn't spend the time figuring out how to login to that old blog.(For those unaware, Thunder Tom was what a high school teacher nicknamed me, for no apparent reason, but it's pretty solid so we're using it.) After blogging for that class I provided a behind the scenes look via blog of our college baseball squad my junior year. I loved writing all the posts, from the great ones to the ones that fell flat. Over
the past few years leading up to our annual July 3rd party
(#becauseitsthethird) I often write long inspirational (to me) posts in
the Facebook event page, and I simply realized that I absolutely love
doing it. It energizes me. I laugh at myself. Sometimes I even pat
myself on the back for a job well done. Recently while aimlessly scrolling through Instagram I came across a short video by Gary Vee where a young kid asked him about how to create a successful Youtube channel. Gary said something along the lines of, "Post videos because you love it. Don't worry about how many likes you get, don't worry about the number of subscribers, just keep making content that you love." The day I watched that video I didn't think about creating a blog or anything, I just gave it the ole double tap like and kept on cruising. But last night while going to bed I randomly thought about how much I love making the July 3rd outrageous, inspirational, motivational, breathtaking posts. And I thought to myself, "I can't start July 3rd posts yet, it's too early (obviously never too early for the real ones)" So I got out of bed and decided to just write instead.
I don't have plans for being consistent and posting every week, or bi-weekly, or tri-annually-quarterly; I'm simply going to write stuff when it hits me. I don't know how long is too long to keep an audience engaged, or what's the best site to use for blogging, or if you should have a hairy chest, a megaphone, and a cold crispy natural light in your main blog picture; but I don't care. I'm just going to write, because I love it. As the bearded lady in The Greatest Showman sings, "THIS IS ME!"
If you came here looking for a lesson because I used to be a teacher, well there it is. When you realize you love something, just do more of it. Act. Go. Run. Fly. Move. Who cares if it's not perfectly setup yet, or if you don't understand the Facebook and Instagram algorithems, or if you don't know how to spell algorithm, just freakin do more of what you love. Doing things you like doing is cool, no matter what anyone tells you.
Be Awesome
-Tom Spaniol
"Don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive." -someone in a book I read
